but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
