meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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