i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize