Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
