so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I think a kid would responsible me up
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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