dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
you would pick up someone in the library
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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