I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
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