Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
I could have mohawked her pubes.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
