I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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