If that was your dad, he is hot
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
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