when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
