She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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