dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
