I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
