All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
