I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
