Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I have surprise drugs for everyone
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
