I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
