he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
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