Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
