I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
