belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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