Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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