would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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