Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
