I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
cat food counts as protein by the way
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
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