the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
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