last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
