so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I need a beard to bite.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
