ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
