You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
