I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
my shit smells like andre
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
