He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
