i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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