Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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