I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Randomize
