I wish I only lived at night.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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