I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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