so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
