That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
