i would punch a child for taco bell
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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