Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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