sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Randomize
