we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Randomize
