My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
