bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
