I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
