I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
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I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
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We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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