I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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