Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
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