You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize
