be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
