He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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