I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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