I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
