I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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